MARD

 

Men Against Rape & Discrimination

So I was sitting in the bus minding my own business, listening to music and enjoying the ride, when it halted at a routine stop and in walked one of the prettiest girls of my college. It is unusual for us guys to see our female counterpart in the bus as ours is an engineering college (that explains everything, right? :P). It was a sight to see when she stepped on to the bus as the most uncivilized animals turned into gentlemen just to get her attention. I on the other hand, in an awkward and extremely sheepish manner, distracted myself by looking outside the window so as not to come across as desperate (as some were giving tough competition to each other in that department). I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t as excited about her presence in the bus as excited as the next guy was, but I tried to play it cool. Suddenly I heard a thud nearby and there she was-  sitting on the seat right next to mine. Not sure if I was happy about the fact that she chose the seat exactly next to mine, for I might have also come across as the safest option. One of the most important features of a cell phone other than communication, is avoiding awkward situations (Can be added as it USP). So there I was sitting next to a very beautiful girl and instead of trying to pick up conversation like any sane guy would have, I was going through my whatsapp contact list trying to be cool, nonetheless in a very gawky manner. While going through the list, I came across the display picture of a dear friend of mine. It read MARD (Men) on it. I guess it was the situation or something, but it immediately got me thinking about how strange a relationship the two sexes share in our country.

There has been some devastating news and appalling statistics in the past 3 months that show that how in a country that worships goddesses, women are treated as a ‘lower sex’ and just like another house item. With this post I am not bashing the male gender for their misdeeds. Neither am I supporting the over-the-top feminists who without analyzing the situations want to boycott the males in general. The points below are my general (& personal) views about things we are doing wrong at the fundamental level which lead to such horrific incidents like the Delhi gang rape case, among countless others.

Where did we go wrong?

Since ancient time, we have been following patriarchy as rigid custom where men are the torch-bearer of the family name and are responsible for the entire family. It’s been 65 years since our independence and still a feast to the already overweight pandits is offered at the birth of a boy. Boys while growing up are taught to be tough and protective while girls are encouraged to learn housework so that it can be added to their shaadi.com profile as one of their achievement. Lakhs and lakhs of money is spent on a boys’ education, even at the cost of the education for their female siblings because importance of degree in females are limited up to their marriage only. Or as the great Indian aunties say “Degree bina ki ladkiyon se ajkal koi shaadi nahi karta.”. Here you cannot blame either of the sexes because their mindsets have been moulded by the outdated norms which are not practical or applicable to the present time.

Another factor is the education system of this country. An average Indian child spends 15 years of his life in school, wherein they learn the fundamental values which they are going to apply to both their professional and as well as personal lives. While teaching moral values and manners, they miss out on values like respect and compassion towards the opposite sex. For example, I have been in a co-head school since 1st grade but it never felt like co-head because communication between girls and boys was nil as we were not allowed to sit with a girl on the same bench. It was instilled in a boy’s mind from the very beginning that having a girl for a friend would make them less of a man. Now fast forward it to teenage years when puberty hits both the sexes. Due to the lack of communication, a lot of questions remain unanswered in the young minds of teenagers which they are too ashamed to ask their teachers or parents about, as this topic has always been seen as a taboo. The result of this, is an emotional mix of uncertainty & inquisitiveness with one’s hormones, which eventually starts boiling with time. If critical questions like these remain unanswered, they are followed by assumptions. The respective sexes will automatically assume what the opposite sex is, by seeing what is happening in the society in general and apply it to their life accordingly.  And the worst of such kinds can lead to something as disappointing as rape. What we need is a more vocal approach towards these young vulnerable minds. Parents and teachers should not be awkward about discussing puberty with teenagers (even though I know how awkward it can be), it is useful for them to know what is right and what is wrong at a young age itself.

We take pride in saying that we are the world’s biggest democracy. But I believe democracy is something that should start at domestic level i.e. at home first for it to succeed at the national level. I am proud to say I am a MARD. I respect women and I respect their rights and I believe both the sexes act as ying & yang, one cannot survive without the other.I believe in eradicating the root cause of the problem, which i know would be an up hill battle but if we start now our future generations would be openminded and educated. This is all at the window thought for today. 😀

mard

PS: with all this thinking going on I forgot about the girl completely . 😥

edited by

CM

LIKE ME

Its is one of the biggest revelations of 21st century . Gone are the days when people used to develop photographs and made a photo album , people used write personal e-mails to each other and used to have actual chat once in a while . Everything mentioned above makes it clear to understand what i am talking about and if not then you are still stuck in 20th century. *drumrolls* Its FACEBOOK . Since its inception i have read countless article on how Facebook being both a boon and curse to the society . This post is basically my view on the current Facebook lifestyle.

One of these day i went out with my friends on a drive and we got down at this beautiful place .One of my friend ,instead of enjoying the beauty of nature was forcing everyone to get a picture so that he/she can upload it on Facebook. So on our way back it got me thinking ( of course me sitting by the window seat)  Are we so obsessed with Facebook and other social media that we are missing out the little things in life ?

General trend of facebook goes like this : got to facebook —> the status bar ask you in a luring way ” How’s it going xyz”—-> go to google type funny/inspirational thoughts or take a sarcastic jab at the current controversy —-> press enter —-> log out you like you don’t care —-> come back exactly after exactly 10 mins to see how many likes you’ve got . It seem like our life is so much dependent on how many people like our picture and status .Would any of us would like if some one comes up to us and comment on how we look our how we are dressed . Its like a beauty contest and number of likes decides who is the fliest  of them all . And what’ sup with Instragram , it took us ages to come up with a technology that gives a clear as crystal image but all we do is give it a vintage or black white effect .*insert facepalm*

Its like facebook gives you a new identity .You completely change when you  login and this has resulted into a serious case of cyber-bullying where the victims of bullying in real life may take up the internet to bully others sitting behind the window screens.Whenever I scroll through the main page  I see people trying to be smart by quoting inspirational leaders , I see them posing with a pout trying to be sexy and all ( while 90% of them end up looking like ducks ) and then there are  few people that you would always see online but would never ever like or comment anything , guess they enjoy seeing the show as spectators . I remember sitting with mum and dad and putting in photo from our trip to a hill station in this brand new hard bound photo album and 7 years down the line they come up to me to show them if any of my cousins have uploaded the pictures of some function .

I am not anti Facebook . Hell even i make some corny status updates myself but what i want to say is where facebook has made the world smaller it is responsible for the loss of those little moments like a warm hug when  friends meet up or  seeing the expression on someones face when we crack a joke or that little hope that the person who is going  far away is gonna comeback and the surprise when you see them after a long time as we get  constantly updated about their life by that red  notifications mark on the left side upper corner of our screens . That is all on the window thought today .:D  

Image

CHOICE

“An act of choosing between two or more possibilities; something that YOU can choose” . This is the Oxford dictionary meaning of the word CHOICE.Since our birth we are given so-called choices . Some of these choice’s are made by our parents ,some by our society and a very few by us . There is a stress on the word ‘you’ in the first line . How many time we have made a choice not thinking about what our parent would think or what would my friends say ? how many time we choose something just because the so-called cool people are doing it ? . There are infinite questions like these that me think ,are there any decisions that we take are for ourselves or is it just word of people that matter’s. You step out and you have choice to take a cab or to take a car or to walk ,when you finally decide upon how you want to travel you have to decide where you want to go . I mean why do we always have to fuck up simple stuff by adding so many alternatives when people who are less fortunate in comparison to us don’t even have choice for food , clothing or even shelter. I don’t see theat day far enough when we even would have choice in the ways we want to die

I don’t understand the reason why do we immediately tag someone or something just because their respective choice are out of the box. People who listen to dark song are not always EMO ..has it ever occurred that there is a slightest possibility that they actually like the music . Guys who prefer music or reading over playing sports are not less masculine than the one who do play where as girls who prefer’s to play are as feminine as any girl out there . Whats the use of calling ourselves as an evolving species when our mindset is still stuck in the medieval times . It’s like there are these unwritten rules and norms which decides whether one is a misfit in a society or not. The essential things in life don’t have choices.You cant choose whether you want to be born as a guy or a girl , you cannot choose your parents and you have to inhale oxygen to stay alive .It’s not like today i think ill inhale nitrogen for a change :p .

But we are fortunate enough have control on some choice’s and i have decided not to waste mine by thinking about other’s then me . Some may call me selfish and inconsiderate regarding the decisions that i make but hey i got only one life to live and it’s okay if i made some wrong choices and fall on my face because it’s never a failure but always a lesson . That was the window thought for today 😀

Stop give f*ck about others and make the choices you want

 

Window Thought :Intro

Everyone has that special place where they can relax and feel at peace. Your imagination starts running wild and you start ponder and think about stuff you normally ignore in this hard paced life . At certain point of time you feel high (or enlightened) just by opening up your mind to so many varied and wild thoughts . For me ,my place of security and enlightenment is by the window seat of my bus . It’s a 45 min ride from my place to my university and during these 45 minutes I am by the window with my headphones on , music volume turned up and staring out feeling the fresh wind and thinking about topics like music ,politics ,international affairs, personal affairs and what not . With this blog ill share what i thought in those 45 minutes ride to my university along with which ill be posting my views on different songs and album … if this post made you even a lit bit interested do make an effort to swing by this page and read what i thought sitting by the window of my bus seat