Men Against Rape & Discrimination
So I was sitting in the bus minding my own business, listening to music and enjoying the ride, when it halted at a routine stop and in walked one of the prettiest girls of my college. It is unusual for us guys to see our female counterpart in the bus as ours is an engineering college (that explains everything, right? :P). It was a sight to see when she stepped on to the bus as the most uncivilized animals turned into gentlemen just to get her attention. I on the other hand, in an awkward and extremely sheepish manner, distracted myself by looking outside the window so as not to come across as desperate (as some were giving tough competition to each other in that department). I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t as excited about her presence in the bus as excited as the next guy was, but I tried to play it cool. Suddenly I heard a thud nearby and there she was- sitting on the seat right next to mine. Not sure if I was happy about the fact that she chose the seat exactly next to mine, for I might have also come across as the safest option. One of the most important features of a cell phone other than communication, is avoiding awkward situations (Can be added as it USP). So there I was sitting next to a very beautiful girl and instead of trying to pick up conversation like any sane guy would have, I was going through my whatsapp contact list trying to be cool, nonetheless in a very gawky manner. While going through the list, I came across the display picture of a dear friend of mine. It read MARD (Men) on it. I guess it was the situation or something, but it immediately got me thinking about how strange a relationship the two sexes share in our country.
There has been some devastating news and appalling statistics in the past 3 months that show that how in a country that worships goddesses, women are treated as a ‘lower sex’ and just like another house item. With this post I am not bashing the male gender for their misdeeds. Neither am I supporting the over-the-top feminists who without analyzing the situations want to boycott the males in general. The points below are my general (& personal) views about things we are doing wrong at the fundamental level which lead to such horrific incidents like the Delhi gang rape case, among countless others.
Where did we go wrong?
Since ancient time, we have been following patriarchy as rigid custom where men are the torch-bearer of the family name and are responsible for the entire family. It’s been 65 years since our independence and still a feast to the already overweight pandits is offered at the birth of a boy. Boys while growing up are taught to be tough and protective while girls are encouraged to learn housework so that it can be added to their shaadi.com profile as one of their achievement. Lakhs and lakhs of money is spent on a boys’ education, even at the cost of the education for their female siblings because importance of degree in females are limited up to their marriage only. Or as the great Indian aunties say “Degree bina ki ladkiyon se ajkal koi shaadi nahi karta.”. Here you cannot blame either of the sexes because their mindsets have been moulded by the outdated norms which are not practical or applicable to the present time.
Another factor is the education system of this country. An average Indian child spends 15 years of his life in school, wherein they learn the fundamental values which they are going to apply to both their professional and as well as personal lives. While teaching moral values and manners, they miss out on values like respect and compassion towards the opposite sex. For example, I have been in a co-head school since 1st grade but it never felt like co-head because communication between girls and boys was nil as we were not allowed to sit with a girl on the same bench. It was instilled in a boy’s mind from the very beginning that having a girl for a friend would make them less of a man. Now fast forward it to teenage years when puberty hits both the sexes. Due to the lack of communication, a lot of questions remain unanswered in the young minds of teenagers which they are too ashamed to ask their teachers or parents about, as this topic has always been seen as a taboo. The result of this, is an emotional mix of uncertainty & inquisitiveness with one’s hormones, which eventually starts boiling with time. If critical questions like these remain unanswered, they are followed by assumptions. The respective sexes will automatically assume what the opposite sex is, by seeing what is happening in the society in general and apply it to their life accordingly. And the worst of such kinds can lead to something as disappointing as rape. What we need is a more vocal approach towards these young vulnerable minds. Parents and teachers should not be awkward about discussing puberty with teenagers (even though I know how awkward it can be), it is useful for them to know what is right and what is wrong at a young age itself.
We take pride in saying that we are the world’s biggest democracy. But I believe democracy is something that should start at domestic level i.e. at home first for it to succeed at the national level. I am proud to say I am a MARD. I respect women and I respect their rights and I believe both the sexes act as ying & yang, one cannot survive without the other.I believe in eradicating the root cause of the problem, which i know would be an up hill battle but if we start now our future generations would be openminded and educated. This is all at the window thought for today. 😀
PS: with all this thinking going on I forgot about the girl completely . 😥